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My Life as a Fetish Model
(Peeing, Messing Myself and Enjoying Underwear)
by Amber

 

My story begins in the early days of my life whilst I was in Junior School, I was actually born in a rather run down area of East London in what was to become a slum clearance area.  The house was quite small and only had the essential amenities, and even the toilet was outside in a very small detached building.  

When I was a very young girl (about 3 years old) my father sadly passed away which meant I really didn't get to know him.  It also meant my mother was forced to go to work to bring in money to live on.  It was really my mother's sister who brought me up from that time.  I wasn't exactly handed over, but mums sister used to come over and look after me while mum was at work.

I'm not sure to this day how I got into wetting myself, I rather think it might be due to the fact the toilet was outside and I never liked the idea of going out there.  It was cold, dark – just a single low wattage light bulb and I remember cobwebs everywhere despite the fact that my mother tried her best to keep the area as clean as she could.  

Needless to say even when at school I was nearly always wetting myself, and at times pooping myself.  The toilets at the school I went to were outside the main building in a separate block – boys one end and the girls the other end.  Again like the toilet at home they were always dark, dingy and always smelled horrible. More than once I was sent home for having very wet and messy knickers because I wouldn't use their toilets.  My mother never accepted me having wet or messy knickers, and often I was punished by being sent to my room and told to stay there for so many hours.

Strangely when my aunt was looking after me she never seemed to mind if I had wet knickers, in fact she often had a wry smile on her face when she realised I had wet myself.  She definitely disapproved of me pooping myself though, that was made quite clear.  It's since made me wonder if she might have been a secret wetter – possibly due to the same reason that with her house the toilets were outside the same as ours (she only lived two streets away, so the houses were virtually identical).  I never found out if she was a wetter and I don't suppose I ever will now.  Sadly she passed away just over a year ago – which incidentally is the reason I gave up the fetish modelling.  Even if my mother knew, which she probably didn't she wouldn't tell me – so that will remain a mystery, but I'd like to think she could have been into wetting herself.

Back to my life; when I left school I started mixing and befriending what I can only call down and outs, which most see as not the most desirable of people to know; but I enjoyed their company.  I was by this time very much into wetting and messing myself and they got to realise this.  Rather than offend them it appeared that some of them actually liked to see me with a huge wet patch on my jeans or a bulge in the back where I'd messed my knickers.  It was one of these guys who really put me on the first step of the ladder into modelling.  A friend of his knew a guy in Kent who was something of a photographer, and I was told I could make good money from pissing and pooping myself, which to me at the time was like a dream come true. I made contact with him, and was invited to his small studio for a trial photo-shoot.

I wasn't able to do much until I reached my eighteenth birthday when shortly after that I went to see this guy.  I now know he was a freelance photographer and made money selling photos to whoever would buy.  I also think he realised I was still quite young and naive and took advantage of me in more ways than one.  Not only did he make quite a lot of money from my modelling photos and not paying me what really should have been the going rates, but also used me to his advantage by claiming I was a glamour model as well as a fetish model.  I also made the mistake by having sexual activity with him without protection, which I now regret, but thankfully I haven't suffered in any way from it.  He was 'clean' and I it's had no adverse affect on my health, but I realise just how close it could have been to going wrong.

He did put me on the right path into modelling and I really do owe it to him for giving me the break I needed to get into the profession of fetish modelling.  I was eventually put in touch with a true fetish photographer (also in Kent) and it was him I stayed with for virtually all my career.  It was through him I got to understand the importance of looking sexy as much as it was to be wet or messy.  One goes hand in hand with the other, and people much prefer to see good classy and sexy looking underwear being peed or pooped in.

This was my first real introduction into understanding and knowing what underwear  others should see me in.  Until that time I'd never looked at knickers as anything other than basic underwear, but I was now beginning to realise and understand that men in particular like anything which oozes sex appeal, and therefore silks, satins and shiny nylon fabrics win hands down compared to cotton when it comes to underwear.  I'm not suggesting cotton knickers don't have their place in the type of modelling I did, in fact some photo-shoots I did meant having soaked and messy knickers being torn to shreds while I was wearing them.  Cotton is by far the best material to destroy in this manner than nylon or satin which doesn't rip easily.

I also learned that plain colours are better for modelling than multi-coloured or gaudy print underwear.  The idea is the underwear shouldn't detract from what's going in them, people want to see the pee soaking them and running out, or seeing the brown mess of poo staining the back of knickers as it fills them.  So for obvious reasons lighter coloured fabrics show the wetness and stains better than dark ones.  Yes I know occasionally I wore dark coloured underwear – reds, purples, blues and even black at times for photo-shoots but it was for specific reasons.   Often dark coloured knickers were worn under light coloured lingerie or nightdresses, this was deliberate so that when soaked in pee the lighter clothes would allow the underwear to show through.

I've enjoyed modelling and it's given me the best of both worlds by earning a living from what I can only describe as a big fetish which I've had all my adult life and earlier.  I only gave up when my aunt passed away when I just felt it wrong to continue, but as time has passed I yearn to get back into modelling and I'm sure I will.

All this has of course opened up a new fetish that of underwear and lingerie.  I no longer look at knickers as just underwear but have a totally different viewpoint in seeing that underwear is just as important as our everyday clothes.  Therefore it not only has to be functional for what we want but also look good and even sexy.  I don't think our underwear or lingerie should be kept just for the bedroom or for one person in our lives, it's there to be shared with everyone.  I can't be 100% sure but I firmly believe that many men develop a fetish for knickers and lingerie because it's not openly on view for them to see on women other than wives or girlfriends.  So why shouldn't men enjoy it?  It's there to be enjoyed and not jut by the women who wear it.  If I thought I could get away with it I'd happily go out in public wearing nothing but underwear – to me it's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

 

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